LOVEANDOTHERANSWERS

The Perfect Man and The Perfect Woman

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ENTIRELY TOO SERIOUS

MARITAL THERAPY

After just a few years of marrieage filled with constant arguments, a young man and is wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.

"What seems to be the problem?"

Immediately the husband held his long face down without anything to say. On theother hand, the wife bwegan talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.

After 5--10--15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by the shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and set her back down.

Afterwards, the wife sat there, speechless.

He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.

The counselor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"

The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

THE WINDOW BETWEEN HEARTS

Surely there is a window from heart to heart:

they are not separate or far rrom each ot6her.

Though two earthenware lamps are not joined,

their light mingles.

No lover seeks union without the beloved also seeking;

but the love of lovers makes them shapely and pleasing.

When the lightning for the beloved has shot into this heart, know that there is love in that heart.

Whenl ove for the Divine has been doubled in your heart, there is no doubt that the Divine has love for you.

No sound of clapping comes forth from only one hand.

The thirsty man is moaning, "O delicious water!"

The water is calling, "Where is the one who will drink me?"

This thirst in our souls is the magnetism of the Water:

We are Its and It is ours.

--Rumi.

As a spioritual exercise to keep my heart open during trying times, I read one poem by Rumi each day for a year. I love this one, wether you want to think of it as romantic love or love of the Divine.

Works with Either Gender

Joke 1:

A man's wife had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet he had stayed by her bedside every single day.

One day, when she came to, she motioned for him to come nearer.

As he sat by her, she whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you werre by my side.

When we lost the house, you stayed right here.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side...You know what?"

"What dear?" he gently asked, smiling as his heart began to fill with warmth.

"I thin you're bad luck...get the hell away from me!"

Joke #2:

Three men, one engaged, one with a girlfriend, and one married are talking about their relationships and decide to amaze their women...that night all three will wear their tuxedos. After a few days, they meet again.

The engaged man said, "The other night, when my fiance came back home, she found me in my tuxedo and said,"you are the man of my dreams and I love you"...then we made love all night."

The man with a girlfriend stated: "Yep! The other night we met in my ofice. I was wearing the tuxedo with my overcoat. When I opened the coat, she didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night."

The married one then said, "The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night. I put on my tuxedo. When my wife came home from work, she grabbed the TV controller and a glass of wine and said, "Hey Penguin, what's for dinner?""

Entirely Too Serious...

Marriage Joke I:

A woman's husband had been slippiing in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there.

When I go t shot, you were by my side.

When we lost the the house, you stayed right here.

Whenmy health started failing, you were still by my side...You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck...get the hell away from me."

Joke #2.

Three women friends, one engaged, one dating, and one married are chatting over lunch about their relationships and decided to mutually amaze their men...that night all three will wear a leather bodice high stilletos, and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet again...

The engaged woman said, "The other night when my fiance came home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4" stilettos and the mask. He siad, "You are the woman of my dreams, , I love you"...then we made love all night long."

The dating woman stated, "Oh yes! The other night we met ih his office. I was wearing the leather bodice, stilletos and mask undrneath a raincoat. When I opened my coat, he didn't sy a word. We just had wild sex all night."

The married one then said, "The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night. I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilletos, and the mask over my eyes. My husband came in for work, grabbed the t.v. controller and a beer, and said, "Hey Batman, what's for dinner?"

Functional Adult, Wounded Child

Pia Melody:  The Intimacy Factor

"The two grand lies children hear from parents are that they are 'better than' or 'less than.' The truth is the child, as well as every other human on the planet has inherent worth. Dysfunctional, immature parents abuse children when they give them the message that they are 'better than' or 'less than.'

Whether the child becomes the Scapegpat or the Hero/Heroine, they will be painfuly damaged. Neither archetype is their authentic self. Shamed children feel than than human. Their counterpart, falsely empowered children, are encouraged to take on and believe what will become a crippling burden.

The original parent-to-child wounding causes deep spiritual wounding. In eachof the core areas of their authentic self, these children will become unbalanced: they will operate from 'less than' or 'better than' with walls for boundaries or with no boundaries. They will be too dependent or antideopendent. They will be confident of the truth or not be able to tell truth from lies.

Recovery lies at the center of these extremes.

If you have no boundaries to contain yourself, you are a spewer. You feel you can do anything you please--like a god without accountability.

If you have walls to contain yourself you are rigid. You become shut down, one-up, judgemental, and controlling."

One of the vital aspect sof my work with couples is to have my clients understand where their principal wounding is, in order to identify it, understand what triggers it in one's adult life, and to learn how to self-soothe and contain any triggered reactions you amy have that take you immediately from a Functional Adult to a Wounded Child. One spouse, +one wounded child=no communication.

They must have had a fun marriage

9/02/09

You probably have seen this is your paper. I don't emember the names involved. A husband bought the crypt space directly above Marylin Monroe in Forest Lawn. He asked his wife to bury him backwards to his head could be above her lower area and her head could be below his...The fact that the wife did this lets me know they had a loving, playful marriage.

She is now in danger of lowing her house so she put his crypt space up for auction on ebay. She had four contenders in the low millions to buy that space. She buried her husband somewhere else and saved her  house.

I'm sure if such things are possible, her husband is in heaven laughing at what a great idea he had for a good investment.

Just got back from San Francisco during the week when it was, of course, freezing. I had my cute theatre outfit covered by my Costco denim coat with fake fur (actually, I'm told it is dog fur). I saw a fabulous play, August: Osage County. It was 3.5 hours long, and no, not just a play a therapist could love.

As gaspingly intense as the meltdown, dysfunctions and revelations were, the paly was also hysterical, gaspingingly funny. I highly recommend it! It won the Pulitzer Prize.

ENTIRELY TOO SERIOUS....

MORE  JOKES ABOUT MARRIAGE!

1.Golden Wedding Anniversary--I have heard this one over the years in many forms. I can assure you that no real mules were harmed in the posting of this blog.

A couples was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife said queitly, "That's once."

We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again. "That's twice."

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her pocket and shot the mule dead.

"I started to protest over her horrible treatment of the mulse when she looked at me and quietly said, "That's once."

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

A husband and wife are in bed

MORE  JOKES ABOUT MARRIAGE!

1.Golden Wedding Anniversary--I have heard this one over the years in many forms. I can assure you that no real mules were harmed in the posting of this blog.

A couples was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife said queitly, "That's once."

We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again. "That's twice."

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her pocket and shot the mule dead.

"I started to protest over her horrible treatment of the mulse when she looked at me and quietly said, "That's once."

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

A husband and wife are in bed watching, "Who Wants to be a Millionaire."

The husband asked his wife for sex.

The wife says, "no."

Her husband asks, "Is that your final answer?"

She responds, "Yes."

He says, "Then, I'd like to phone a friend."

watching, "Who Wants to be a Millionaire."

The husband asked his wife for sex.

The wife says, "no."

Her husband asks, "Is that your final answer?"

She responds, "Yes."

He says, "Then, I'd like to phone a friend."

SOMEONE SAID MY BLOG IS TOO SERIOUS.....

Joke #1:

An elderly couple had been experiencing memory problems, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to rememberer things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outisde talking with his neighbor about how much the class had helped him.

"What was the name of the instructor?" asked the neighbor.

"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"

"A rose?" asked the neighbor.

"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward this house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"

If You Are Easily Offended...Don't Read the Next Joke

Joke #2:

Two married women frineds had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidely over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both need to go to the bathroom. Really badly. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested to do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her underpants, used them, and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underware set an didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath nearby and used that instead. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first womam's husband [hones the other husband and said, "These girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her underware." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card in her underware tht said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, we'll never forget you!

The Parental Unit

I received a question from an Indian man who is in love with an Austrian woman and wants to marry her. Well, he didn't even have to spell out the obstacle and agony he is facing. His parents will disown him if he marries outside his faith. He asked me what he should do.

My answer was not about were they really in love or where they would live. The heart of the mater was, was he willing to give up his parents?

My sense is, in the end, his answer will be "no."

What about you? Have you been faced with this ultimatum when choosing a mate? Or have you gone in the opposite direction and chosen a mate who will fit in well with your family? Have you converted to your spouse's faith or have you asked your spouse to do this?

Parental acceptance of a spouse is not THE most important thing but it is in the top 3 most important things. We can't change our roots and how they have impacted us unless, of course they were very bad.

Even then, the impact is important.

What do you think?